What Does Your Liquor Think of You?


By Andrew “the Alchemist”

Sunday, September 26, 2010

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Would you like to know what your favorite liquor thinks of you?

Does it think you are educated in seeking out superior products?

Or, does it think that you are motivated by the wish that your life were more sexy than it is?

Are you really interested in knowing what your liquor thinks of you?

Warning!  Proceed at your own risk!

Go to Google images: http://www.google.com/imghp

Type in the proprietary name associated with one of your favorite liquors. That means that if you like George Dickel Tennessee Whiskey, you will just type in George Dickel.

Now look at the images that appear.  Do you see multiple images among the first five rows that look like they could come from the cover of a big-budget pornographic video?

If you do, it means that this liquor company has made the basic, but high-level, decision to capture the dollars of the poorly-educated masses that wish their life was more glamorous and sexy than it will ever be.  This is what your liquor thinks of you.

If you don’t, it could mean a lot of things.  But, one of them is the possibility that your liquor thinks you are a bit more sophisticated in your tastes or liquor-awareness than the masses.

Of course, this is not an accurate science and mostly just fun.  Some liquor companies probably agree think you are dumb and frustrated, but just don’t have the advertising budget to exploit your perceived vulnerabilities.

If you are a good Google searcher and only find a few images of any type associated with your favorite liquors, you probably are an adventurous-but-discerning, and educated, drinker.

With any type of product, a lack of flashy images found doing this type of search means that the company either doesn’t have much of an advertising budget, or they are doing fine on word of mouth – or both.

In my case, it was a mix, but at least the majority of my most-revered liquors had a low ‘porn-index.’  Luxardo Triplum might just think I am intelligent and satisfied, while Cointreau seems to think I am dumb and frustrated.

What does your liquor think of you?

2 thoughts on “What Does Your Liquor Think of You?

  1. Haha – Apparently Jameson is low-class, but having a porn star with the same name lends itself to “low class” image searches.

    Glenfiddich turned up nicely – casks, etc.

    Cointreau, of course, is lowbrow because Dita is the spokeswoman and bathes in it. (Grand Mariner came up “worldly”)

    Tanqueray was pretty bland.

    1. Perhaps we shouldn’t count images related to porn talent that has nothing to do with the label! “Jameson” and “whiskey” yielded only a minimal ‘porn index.’

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